Sovereign

While up reading late one evening, I grew restless. No matter what I did, it became very clear to me that winding down with a good book before bed would not be a part of my plans for the night. So, I got up from my reading chair and began to tidy-up around the house. Tidying turned into full on cleaning, and cleaning eventually attempted to spiral into starting a home project, despite the fact that midnight was quickly approaching. Needless to say, all of this signaled to me that there was something going on within my heart that I really needed to process and get to the bottom of. I knew exactly what it was: I had an upcoming decision to make. I knew I couldn’t make it on my own, it needed to be a wise choice. I needed to pray. 

So, that’s exactly what I did. I sat down and I began to pray. Of course, I prayed that His will would be done in the situation and for it to be revealed to me that I may walk in it, because ultimately, I desire for God’s will to be done in my life. However, the more I prayed, the more the inner reality began to surface: I wasn’t praying at all. I was worrying. I was worrying and calling it prayer as I sat there and listened to myself vocalize all the potential outcomes to God.

As if He didn’t already know.

As if He weren’t already in my future.

As if He weren’t ultimately in control.

And there it was. The root in which I was wrestling with. I knew that in my decision -  no matter what I chose - I would no longer be in control of the outcome. What people would say. What people would think. How things would appear to be. The complete and and entire narrative.

All. Every single last part of it. Out of my control.

In that moment, God’s still small voice led me. The peace of His presence ministered to my soul as He reminded me of His word:

“Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself.”

God is in control. I am not. I am thankful for His revelation - His writing of this moment on my heart - of my ability to surrender lack of trust in Him and receive Him and His sovereignty. Once again, I was encouraged to rest in His ability to be God. I love that praying for God’s will to be done was another “yes and amen” moment. His “yes and amen” for me this time was the revelation of Him. I am grateful that He showed me my need, in such a beautiful way. I’m thankful that I was prompted to ask Him, through prayer, for the faith required to trust Him again.

Friend, God has never not been God. He has never lost His ability to be a good God, who can see all things from every angle and yet still be completely and fully in control. Pray this prayer with me:

Lord, Help us to see that You are always at work in our lives and that you always have been. Expose the areas of our lives where we have given into the illusion of being in control. Give us the grace and power required to continually rest in your sovereignty; To trust you completely by surrendering our wills to Your will as an exercise of faith. In Jesus’ name, Amen.